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I was also the hostess at a pizza place, which was a breeding ground for sexual harassment from inebriated customers trying to cop a feel on their way from the bathroom back to the table where their wife and kids were sitting.

Once, on a fishing trip with some friends, I met one of those firefighters who parachutes into fires from an airplane.

I was completely freaked out — not in the sexy “Winona Ryder in Girl, Interrupted” way, but in the “wow, you’re really eating mashed potatoes for every meal, huh? I went to visit a friend in Anchorage in February 2002, and it felt right.

I sold all of my furniture, quit my job, bought a car, and spent two months by myself on a cross-country road trip to Alaska.

Some of the guys who approached me were goblins; I regularly turned down the five-fingered grandpa — that’s five fingers total — who constantly asked me for a blow job whenever I drank at a particular downtown bar, and I practically ran away from a man who had the stringy baldness of a young Riff Raff from the Rocky Horror Picture Show when he sidled up and asked me if I had any communicable diseases as his opening line.He had thick black hair and tattoos that made it look like robot parts were embedded under his skin instead of a skeleton; he frequently told me that he was used to dating girls who wore a lot of makeup, and it was nice that I looked the same way waking up as I did falling asleep, since I don’t wear any.I worked in a used bookstore, which was a petri dish of makeups, breakups, hookups, and that one customer who looked like Robert Goulet and always hung out near the Left Behind series.But most of them were just genuine guys trying their luck, which encouraged me to try my luck, too.In short turn, I soon realized that if I wanted to meet guys in Alaska, all I had to do was go outside.

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